I've managed to clean the new master bath, master bedroom, hall bath, do the laundry and now I'm working on the front bedroom. I was thinking earlier that should I ever get this whole house clean at the same time, that would be the time to kill myself and leave a note that read, "The house is finally clean." I swear I never get it done because--then what? What will I do after that? I honestly believe it's my fear of not having anything to do that keeps me from finally getting it done...so on to food:

Today I ate-two eggs, one slice Naan, two pieces of bacon, coffee with lots of cream and splenda.

One Siggy yogurt, one Lara bar and about five slices of smoked gouda because nothing tastes as good as gouda. I've been grazing all afternoon---oh and two Lara bar bites which are delicious.

It would have been better to make lunch--but I've been working on my POF profile too--and well, that takes fortifying foods--comfort to sustain me while I deal with all the rejection. So I write to this man. I've been looking at his profile on and off for a while. I knew he had lost a lot of weight and I thought, maybe he'd be the person who would . . . I don't know--coach me . . . inspire me. Maybe since he was fat once he'd understand--so I sent a note and he responded with essentially thanks, but no thanks. Stupid how that hurts--guys just don't respond. It's easier than the "Hey, I looked at your picture and I don't chose you." I know-it's the same thing, but somehow it feels more personal--like you got some satisfaction out of letting me know--"Hell no." Well, screw you!